The Card Job Read online

  The Card Job

  A LitRPG Heist

  Contents

  The Card Job

  Copyright © 2019 Kit Falbo

  Acknowledgements

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  About the Author

  Copyright © 2019 Kit Falbo

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except in the case of a reviewer, who may quote brief passages embodied in critical articles or in a review.

  Trademarked names appear throughout this book. Rather than use a trademark symbol with every occurrence of a trademarked name, names are used in an editorial fashion, with no intention of infringement of the respective owner’s trademark.

  The information in this book is distributed on an “as is” basis, without warranty. Although every precaution has been taken in the preparation of this work, neither the author nor the publisher shall have any liability to any person or entity with respect to any loss or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by the information contained in this book.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Acknowledgements

  As much as a book is a solo work of art it is not. It cannot be done and completed by one hand alone to satisfaction. I would like to thank my beta readers O’Hara and Rodriguez in their exhausting work in catching the things I missed in my third read through. No one is more blind than the author in reading their own works. I would like to thank my wife for putting up with all the head pounding work writing is.

  A special thanks to Dustin Tigner for gifting me this awesome cover. My own creations, while appealing to my own terrible sense, had the risk of frightening typical readers away. I am not without my support in this endeavour. To my loyal fans who continue to take a gamble on my indiependent writing, I hope this one tickles your imagination as well. It is by far one of my pulpiest works.

  Chapter One

  "Most in-game locations are AI-generated using historical data and public domain fictional works."

  -Changing Worlds, load screen.

  The pinnacle of gaming technology, the singularity of the next generation of role-playing experience, with meaningful life-changing events around every corner; so real, reality pales in comparison. Trying his best to avoid all that, Hermanos Granger found himself sitting at a table in a dive bar that looked and felt like it blended every dive bar in every genre, playing cards.

  He had his own take on the game, Changing Worlds. That is, if everybody is made to feel special and unique, is it really either one of those things? They give players all little adventures that let them feel special, saving the city, girl, world, universe. The thing is, after reading through the accolades and positive reviews Hermanos realized that it would wait for you, whether you rush right into the meat of whatever problem the game served up for you, or you take a few weeks trying to get the best gear.

  It will always be tweaked to be challenging and fulfilling for you, giving you that sense of accomplishment, yet there will always be another adventure around the corner. With a little push of willpower, Hermanos activated his [Analyze] skill, and it radiated out like a shot of radar highlighting both players and NPCs alike. The players had stat and skill-boosting titles like Savior, General, Honorary, and Duke, each one giving the players special benefits. Having done great things because this game catered to them, and yet for some reason or quest, they made it into this seedy bar as well. The NPCs weren’t so lucky, the one across from Hermanos was even less fortunate because as part of his Gambler's class ability, the skill gave hints of other information, and the alien had a note just over his head. Bluffing.

  People not really into the game, casuals, or new players might think Hermanos was a noob, a nobody. No fancy clothing or armor, he was wearing one of the starting outfits, a long-waisted, cream-colored jacket, and brown leather pants. Both were looking like they had seen better days, with stains, frayed patches, burn marks decorating them. They provided no defense or special skills, and if you had the ability and looked at the outfit, it had a durability of 1 out of 10.

  A serious devotee of the game would notice that under the soot and grime, the collars and cuffs had a ring of blue and gold denoting that the clothing came from opening-day character creation three years ago. The outfit couldn’t be traded or stolen off a person. It was one of the few genuinely indestructible items in the game. This meant the durability could never actually reach zero, no matter the punishment, and it would take a long hard time for it even to reach one durability.

  Hermanos almost felt bad for the bunch of code sitting across from him at the game table. Both he and the NPC had three face-down cards on top of what their decks had flipped. The game, Change-Set, was a cross between hold-em and one of those old collectible card games where you had monsters fight. Hermanos had a choice to end the round or bet again and start the process of putting another layer of face-down cards into play. “Round end.”

  “You fucking cheater!” The alien NPC named Gazantos cursed, his hand moving to his side for his blaster. Hermanos used his pre-selected [Sleight of Hand] skill to pull his Xerces-99 Deathdealer from his inventory and into his hand, ready and pointing at the belligerent non-player character. As pretentious as the weapon's name was, its form was worse, gold and glowing, lighting up half the room as it shined bright enough to make multiple questionable stains that decorated the floor of this place way too visible.

  “It’s not my fault you wear the fact you’re bluffing like a HunterKiller wears their trophies. Let the game play out fully, unless you would rather settle this the boring way.” The two previous times Hermanos had attempted to win this match to get what he wanted, the game had forced him to shoot the poor bastard, spoiling the pot. Then he had to wait for him to respawn. This time he caught him in his sights before the NPC managed to pull his gun. Thankfully, the overweight alien just slumped into his seat with a defeated look on his face.

  The table activated, and the cards flipped themselves. Holographic images depicting the scene started to rise from the table. Squire, archer, and castle rose up, not the strongest of starts. The fantasy theme of the Change-Set card game has always been an interesting juxtaposition for the space opera setting. The alien had a blood demon, gray witch and a festering pit which would straight up beat the player’s hand in normal circumstances. Here is where face-down cards come into play, changing the board depending on where and when they were played in the game. The squire gets a lake, which hurts because he starts fishing. A Forest grows around the archer granting him cover, while the castle receives a Lord which pulls a random card from the top of Hermanos’s deck face down on the area. Gazanto’s plays are not as strong. A beast transforms his demon into a hellhound. Evil Eye makes the witches eyes glow with an eerie red aura, an attack boost that won’t help with the cover. Lastly, a Lich on the festering pit, which gets downgraded to a Boggart.

  The gambler knows the outcome at this point is assured. Still, the lorded castles
bonus card resolves, and it’s a trebuchet. Overkill with it being the superior siege weapon, Hermanos often wondered why they even bothered to include a catapult card. The pot contains five hundred credits, the deed to a starfighter that Hermanos put up and for Gazanto’s prized card, The Whisperer, which was the last one he needed to complete his collection. It wasn’t particularly strong, but this NPC always had a hard time letting it go. Completing the thousand card collection was one of the few achievements that no one had done yet, and one of the few things Hermanos felt was a real accomplishment in the game. “Come on man, I inherited that card from my dying father.” He pleaded. There was a satisfying ding that only the Gambler could hear, as Hermanos pulled the pot into his inventory.

  [Quest completed: Collect the Change-Set.]

  He enjoyed a big, wide, ear-splitting grin, but only for a moment. With another ding, there was a new quest.

  [Collect the advanced Change-Set card.]

  “Well, shit!” Hermanos exclaimed out loud. He’d read everything about the Change-Set game. He’d never heard of an advanced card, but he also knew he was the first to complete the collection quest. He’d hopped across the galaxy, meeting every silly requirement to get every card.

  “You don’t have to rub it in like that.” Gazantos complained across from him, tears running from the eyes on his chest, responding to Hermanos’s swear words as though the Gambler had spoken to the NPC. “That card was part of the legend of the advanced card, that not only changes how the game is played but changes the reality of the universe itself. If you have all the cards and lay them out, the pattern would become clear, and you can find the advanced card.”

  Just the idea of a puzzle quest was giving Hermanos a headache. Collecting the standard cards did have tons of little quests or situations involved in getting them. It had for him been about getting the cards to play the game. He had planned to spend the next six months deck building and playing in little tournaments to practice for the annual Change-Set world invitational championship. Now he had to know if the advanced cards could be usable there and how it changed the game. He also knew he was terrible at puzzles.

  Cursing his luck, Hermanos left Gazantos crying at the table, knowing that once the situation reset he’ll be back to his cocky card playing self. The Gambler squinted his eyes and stumbled a bit at the transition from the dimly lit bar to the cheery brightly lit space dock Arnus-7. He had to get back to his ship where it was relatively safe, private, and held the rest of his Change-Set collection.

  Someone stumbled into him, grabbing him, slowing his progress to the docking bay. It wasn’t a hard grab or accidental. Hermanos looked down at the woman who folded herself into him, blond, almost white hair, piercing blue eyes, and her lipstick was perfect except for a smudge at one corner that trailed partially across her chin. She stared into his eyes, pressing her head into the player's shoulder, her curves melding into his body. “You’ve got to help me, they’re coming to take me away!” She pleaded.

  Hermanos could see black-dressed thugs in the distance, pushing their way through the crowd. Shiny black helmets were resting high enough to see. He stared down at the nubile girl until he could see the NPC tag show up. It was both awkward and pleasurable to feel her digital body pressed up against his. He could swear he could almost feel her too-hard nipples pressing into him through her outfit and his. He reached his hand into his pocket and thought about how sometimes he hated this game. “I don’t have time for this.” He told those pleading eyes, then pressing the palm-sized shock stick he had pulled out into her side before activating it. The girl’s form shuddered and collapsed as Hermanos turned away and started walking, doubling his pace towards where his ship was docked.

  He avoided two more close calls to getting drawn into some epic quest or hidden treasure. In one case literally dodging a McGuffin-filled package tossed to him, letting the package hit the floor with a thud. With the airlock closed behind him, he finally let out a panting sigh as that tension bled out of him. Thankfully the game mostly avoided having quest interactions while on your ship and docked. Though there was one incident of stowaways, run away royalty, that he had to end up spacing and caused him to put up a custom sign that was still hung up just past the main entrance. Trespassers WILL be spaced.

  His ship, Your Debt My Gain, was one of the few places he felt truly at ease in the game. He had titles to hundreds of spaceships, and even dozens of planets. Deeds and titles were frequent additions to the pot in games of Change-Set. Mostly he just used them as ways to sweeten the kitty, knowing that ships better than his usually had some annoying quest chain to get them to run right.

  Your Debt My Gain was one of those extra-large trading ships that could have held a small city in its cargo bays, but with modifications he had installed could now only keep maybe half a small city, as much of the space had been converted to make way for faster engines, bigger guns, and better armor. It could comfortably crew sixteen. But currently it only housed one, and what was the least annoying AI he could find to fly and manage the whole thing. Least annoying being a relative term, as before Hermanos got fully settled its voice rang through the ship's intercom system.

  “Have you brought me a body yet? Where’s my body?” The voice was neither male nor female and had the combined qualities of those old school actors Gilbert Gottfried and Fran Drescher combined. It was one of the more pleasant-voiced AIs you could get if you wanted a functional one. Several sultry-voiced options would all inevitably try to kill you, take over your ship, or worse, cause you more work than having no AI at all.

  There was no getting used to the nails on chalkboard quality of that voice. It took Hermanos a minute to get over that shuddering feeling that the sound induced. “Angel, you have access to all the video feeds for the entire ship. I’m sure you are paying close attention to the room I am in now. Does it look like I have a robot body with me or any package that is big enough to contain a robot body with me?”

  “You promised me a body.” The AI replied in a simpering whine.

  Steadying himself, he started to make his way to the crew lounge. “I merely said that we would talk about that option if I need a second player to practice against while testing decks. Anyway, things have changed, and something has come up.”

  “When it’s about me getting a body. Something always comes up. Waaaaaaaah.”

  Hermanos was grateful when the AI stopped making that crying noise by the time he made it to the lounge. He kept quiet like he usually did, not wanting to instigate any conversation accidentally. He also hoped that this would lead to the program sulking, therefore less interaction.

  He spent the next three hours with the thousand cards that represented the Change-Set, trying to unlock the puzzle, continuing even past the alarm he set limiting his in-game time. Until finally, he gave up, logged out, and went to sleep.

  With the puzzle buried in his thoughts, he didn’t show it as he worked in the eldercare home giving all the residents a friendly if tired smile as he performed his duties helping out and making sure the meds were up to date on their programmed release implants. The four-day-a-week, six-hour-long job supplemented the basic government income he got and was physical enough that he didn’t feel guilty about his gaming habit. A few residents even shared his Changing Worlds habit, not that they teamed up or anything, but it gave them something to talk about at times.

  Herm was bringing sugar-free cherry jello to one of the residents who also enjoyed time in Changing Worlds. Though his puzzle wasn’t on his face, the lack of sleep was hard to keep off of it. “Late night Herm? Save any worlds, stop any apocalypses?”

  Hermanos didn’t advertise that he primarily just played for the mini-game inside of the game, other than letting them know he was also a player, and that he liked to keep his work life separate from his hobby. “There’s a puzzle part of something I’m working on that I’m having a hard time with.” That didn’t mean he never let some information slip out to the residents during their talk
s.

  “What about that girl you used to be with, the Codebreaker?” Tyler asked.

  Hermanos frowned, thinking on that in-game relationship he had tried, not being the real world, it had always been easier to socialize in the game for him. “We kind of parted on the opposite of good terms.”

  The statement caused Tyler to laugh with a hacking wheeze. “It’s just a game, what’s she going to do? Piss in your digital cereal if she gets the chance? What is the worst thing that she’s going to do? Say no. You know all us players at the center will have your back if you need it, Herm.”

  Sasha had demolitioned several of his possessions on her way out, all having to do with their relationship. The ship where they had their first kiss, the apartment they had shared during downtimes, a few items they had gone in on jointly. He couldn’t even blame her for being angry at him, well not much. He chose his hobby over the girl when given the ultimatum. Material things got blown up, stolen, or lost all the time in Changing Worlds. Even had someone shoot a handful of Change-Set cards out of his hand, turning them to cinders, had to spend a couple of weeks redoing the requirements to get replacements for even just that handful. Only one of the reasons he liked to play it as safe as possible, having your ship destroyed and losing all your cards like that had caused more than one player to retire from playing and collecting the mini-game.

  “If I have to Tyler, I will. After all, it’s been months, how angry can she still be?”

  Chapter Two

  "More interactive than texting, e-mail, phone calls, and video chat. Who is to say in-game communication isn't the best method."

  -B. Pellow, The New Normal: VR Generation.

  The answer was pretty dang angry. The two pages of all caps locked wall of text explaining how Hermanos had wasted valuable time in her life, how she waited, checking her messages, hoping for an apology for a week, how he had failed as her online soulmate. Hermanos felt some heartburn reading it, even if it was her passion and zest for life that had drawn him to her. At the end of the browbeating letter was a surprise. She had agreed to meet in a coffee shop situated in a far-off star cluster. Looking in the wiki, Hermanos read that it was noted to be famous for its delicate mini-cakes and poisonings.